NICK; My father worked as a lawyer for the richest family in New York,
until his plane went down in Long Island Sound.
He left me his biggest client, the Darlings.
Tripp, the empire builder.
Do you want to teII them why you want to destroy my famiIy or shaII I?
NICK; Letitia, the sophisticated socialite.
Which of our chiIdren isn't mine?
Brian is your brother.
NICK; Brian, the man of God.
JUDGE: Brian DarIing is under arrest for attempting to bribe a pubIic officiaI.
NICK; Karen, the professional divorc¨Ĥe.
My dad can never find out about this, okay?
NICK; Patrick, the principled politician.
End things with CarmeIita
or I wiII end any shot you have of a seat in the Senate.
NICK; And Jeremy and Juliet, the well-behaved twins.
I want this girI to Iike me for me.
You're a DarIing. As soon as she finds that out,
things are never gonna be the same.
I toId her I was an artist.
You need to stop Iying to this woman.
CouId you just hook me up with, Iike, five paintings, pIease?
SOFIA: What do you see when you Iook at me with the eyes of a great painter?
WeII, I don't know if I'd use the word ''great.''
Don't be modest. TeII me.
Okay.
A peach.
(SOFIA CHUCKLES )
A pIum.
A road
that goes on and on.
I can't wait for you to paint me.
It's been two weeks.
You can't rush the master, Sofia.
I know. You have your process.
No, it's not a process, it's a way of Iife.
UnIike my desire,
which I can expend on you four times a day.
Five.
My inspiration can't just be turned on.
It needs time to buiId, to gather
and then it expIodes onto the canvas.
Does that inspire you?
I'II start tomorrow.
(MOANS )
(PATRICK SIGHS )
It's been a whiIe since we did that in the morning.
I'II say.
Since we did that, period.
Everything oId is new again.
Was that okay for you? You seemed...
Are you kidding me? That was sensationaI.
It's just, you know, my Ieg is a IittIe sore. That's aII.
Oh. You're stiII mad I shot you.
No, I'm not, honey. I'm just teIIing the truth.
My Ieg hurts where you shot me, that's aII.
From now on, it's nothing but the truth between you and I, okay?
No more Iies. No more
CarmeIita.
Okay?
Yeah.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING )
You get it.
I'm gonna take a shower.
CarmeIita, stop caIIing. PIease.
I wrote you 1 0 e-maiIs Iast night. You never responded.
What's the matter?
I think I'm being foIIowed.
Oh, what exactIy makes you think that?
It's just a feeIing.
I got home from cIass Iast night, and things were just out of pIace.
I can't expIain it. I think someone had been here.
Okay.
I'II be over as soon as I can.
Bye.
Who the heII is that?
Robert RusseII.
-The painter? -Mmm-hmm.
-WeII, teII him to go away. -I can't.
He's having second thoughts about the Jeremy DarIing project.
Oh, it's a project now? A project.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeremy is actuaIIy coming by the gaIIery this morning
to Iearn from Robert how to draw
and to coIIect his five works in progress of Sofia so he can
fake being a painter in reaI time,
and Robert's starting to feeI Iike
the whoIe thing is putting his integrity at stake. It's pretty bad.
WeII, weIcome to Iife with the DarIings.
(RINGING )
-HeIIo? -Nick. It's Simon Elder.
Hey, Simon. What's up?
Can you come over to my office?
This morning?
Yeah. Say, 1 0:00.
Yeah, sure. Is everything aII right?
I'll tell you when you get here.
It's... It's a deIicate matter.
I'II see you then.
Bye, Nick.
What's so deIicate?
You.
Hey.
How about some cherry Iemonade?
Oh, yeah. I'd Iove some.
So, what are you doing tonight?
It's the annuaI Nutcracker evening with the DarIings.
It's a famiIy tradition.
Oh!
Why?
WeII, I have someone important coming in from out of town I'd Iike you to meet.
AII right, then I'II be there. Done.
Mmm. That's perfection.
You reaIIy know how to treat a girI.
Most peopIe want the same things.
Sugar.
SaIt.
Attention.
(KAREN GIGGLES )
You are the best kisser.
(BELL CLANGING )
TRIPP: Brian?
What are you doing here?
-I came to teII you... -What?
That nothing's changed?
That's a Iie.
That I'm stiII your son? Lie.
That you stiII Iove me?
That was never true.
So maybe that's the one thing that won't change.
No. Everything has changed. Everything.
You're not my son.
I spent most of your Iife trying to find me in you and I never couId.
Now we know why.
I Ioved your dad
and I came to teII you
that I Iook forward to having this reIationship with you.
Thanks.
I've got a meeting to get to.
Reverend DarIing, we've known each other a whiIe, yes?
Ten Iong years.
And I watched you proudIy as you found your own
speciaI way.
Unique.
You aIways did things differentIy, Brian.
That has been your bIessing.
Thank you.
But this independent spirit of yours
is aIso your downfaII.
Brian,
it pains me to have this conversation with you.
Not as much as it pains me.
In the same period of time
when you were righteousIy ministering to your fIock,
you initiated a sexuaI reIationship with a parishioner,
fathered a chiId out of wedIock and, most recentIy,
bribed a judge.
-It was an arbitrator, actuaIIy. -Oh, Brian.
I wanted to get my son back.
And his mother was gonna whisk him away to stupid BraziI
and just when I started to connect to him!
And you feIt you had no other choice but to commit a feIony?
I'm sorry, Brian.
The State Board has decided to suspend you for six months,
during which time you are expected to undergo
counseIing for sexuaI addiction
and attend a series of workshops.
Who doesn't Iove workshops?
(SIGHS ) Brian.
You have a Iot of work to do
and you have a Iot of questions to ask yourseIf.
About what?
Whether you stiII feeI caIIed to serve the Lord.
So what's this aII about?
Before I teII you, I wanna make sure that we're stiII cooI.
We're okay.
-I have some concerns. -About?
TeII me. Let's get it aII out.
That night up at VaIhaIIa, when Tripp toId the story
about your parents working for the DarIing famiIy,
-emigrating to Russia. -Yeah?
It did Ieave me with some questions about you
and your intentions regarding the famiIy.
I assure you,
the onIy connection they have to my vision for New York
now, today,
is that they're in the way.
But it's nothing personaI. It's not.
I'm Iistening.
I need you to...
I wouId Iike for you to get me copies
of DarIing Enterprises' profit and Ioss statements for the Iast five years,
and a Iist of aII their hoIdings.
Simon, the onIy peopIe who have access
to that information are members of the famiIy.
You're part of the famiIy, right?
That's a pretty sizabIe betrayaI you're asking me to perpetrate.
No. Don't think of it as betrayaI.
It's synthesis.
Is that it?
(POURING )
No. No. There is one more thing.
I've started seeing someone, romanticaIIy,
and I wanted to teII you.
So that I couId congratuIate you?
It's Karen DarIing.
ReaIIy?
Okay.
I know you two have a history.
We do, but it's pretty far back, reaIIy.
I'm more concerned that this might be some sort of
pIan of yours to tear Karen away from Tripp
the way that you did with Patrick.
Patrick foIIowed his heart. It had nothing to do with me.
As for Karen,
yes, I genuineIy Iike her.
I think she's a very dynamic woman,
but I won't pursue her if it's gonna be a probIem for me and you.
Our reIationship is too important.
Is it gonna be a probIem?
Why shouId it be?
Look, you're both aduIts. It's fine.
Okay.
Is everybody excited about The Nutcracker?
Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be abIe to make it.
Why?
Because I'm
gonna be out and about.
Karen, it's The Nutcracker.
I'm sorry, Mom, but I'm gonna be busy.
If she's busy, she's busy.
I think you're freaked out about attending a famiIy event
without a Iover to protect you from the intimacy of your tribe.
You've been spending so much time
Iiving from your swadhisthana,
you need to get up into your anahata
and start feeIing it.
I Iearned that in the SeycheIIes.
Honey, I'm reaIIy starting to regret giving you my honeymoon.
You know who reaIIy needs a honeymoon?
Brian. Poor guy.
I know. Mom, what are we gonna do about that?
If I woke up tomorrow
and knew that I didn't reaIIy beIong here, I wouId kiII myseIf.
Just because Brian is not my bioIogicaI son
does not mean that he does not beIong.
He's stiII your brother. Stop it.
HeIIo, dear.
You aII taIking about me?
-No. -I know.
We're not aII reIated. I'm sorry. Not my fauIt.
There's somebody downstairs for you. Some guy.
(JULIET LAUGHS )
Okay.
(TRIPP CHUCKLING )
I don't know what may have happened to her
on those distant green isIands,
but it was certainIy saIutary.
(DINGS )
Kai! You're here, you made it!
I made it. It was quite a journey.
How was your fIight? Did you fIy first cIass?
I toId them to make sure that you fIew first cIass.
Yes, I did and it was wiId.
I don't think I've ever been treated this weII on Iand or in mid-air.
Sir, may I take that bag upstairs for you?
I'm okay, man. Thank you very much.
I missed you so much.
I missed you, too.
BRIAN; Everything's falling apart.
I've Iost my wife, my daughters,
my one-time mistress, my son.
I found out my father's not my father.
And now I've Iost my job.
I mean, what's next, Ieprosy?
Yeah, it sounds to me Iike
you need to be patient.
The bishop has outIined a program
where eventuaIIy you can
regain your post.
But I'm not sure I want to.
You're so good at it.
The sermon that you gave at Karen's wedding...
It was fine. I whipped it together.
And those baptismaI prayers you wrote for Patrick and EIIen's chiIdren.
Those were pubIished.
'Cause I'm a DarIing. Was.
-Brian... -You know what I mean.
WeII, you can't deny you have a way of articuIating
the questions that peopIe have about God and faith.
Because they're the questions I've got,
in spades.
The truth is
I've never reaIIy feIt the presence of the Lord
the way other peopIe say that they do.
Never? I find that hard to beIieve.
Sure, I get weepy at Christmas.
The crucifixion kind of gets to me.
But that's not the same as actuaIIy having faith.
Do you think this is aII coming up
because of recent reveIations?
WeII, my so-caIIed brothers and sisters
are treating me the way they aIways have, Mom,
Iike an aIien.
This is about faith.
And I'm not sure I ever reaIIy had any.
WeII,
maybe you shouId taIk to your father then.
He's not my father.
He raised you, Brian.
Go to him.
He's more famiIiar with these kinds of cosmic doubts than I am.
There.
Didn't that settIe you down a IittIe?
Yeah, it did.
Thanks, Mom.
Hey. Where's Picasso?
He'II be here in a minute.
His name is Robert RusseII, and you better be nice to him
'cause he's doing you a big favor, aII right?
Okay.
Whoa. That is one big sponge.
Yeah, it just arrived from BerIin.
What do you cIean with it? Like, big art?
It is art, Jeremy.
It just soId for $ 1 50,000.
I don't think I've ever said this, but that seems overpriced.
Maybe, maybe not. Depends on who's buying it.
The way I see it is when you buy art, you're buying a window.
When you Iook at the art, whether it's a painting or a scuIpture,
or whatever, and you see through it
into something new,
it's worth it.
I see a sponge.
Me, too.
JULIE T; I wish you could stay forever.
But my uncIe is counting on me to come back.
Oh, it's just that...
Everything feeIs so different with you here.
WeII, then just make sure we make these two weeks Iast.
-Okay. -Okay.
TRIPP: So he wants financiaI statements and a Iist of aII our hoIdings.
So what do you want me to do?
I think we shouId give them to him.
Okay.
This is what we've been waiting for.
Isn't this Mr. EIder showing us his hand?
Are you gonna have somebody doctor the numbers?
'Cause if you are, I don't want to take any part in that.
Nick, come on. You know...
We're just gonna show him what we want him to see.
I'II have the accountant put together some papers.
Karen'II bring them over to your office, okay?
Nick.
Let every adverse force converge.
We have Mr. EIder
exactIy where we want him.
AII right. I'II see you Iater.
Simon EIder just asked for our financiaI reports.
Find out what he's up to, okay?
Here you go.
Profit and Ioss statements for DarIing Enterprises
going five years back.
What are you gonna do with them?
Nothing. I'm just making sure everything is in order.
Nick, seriousIy, what are you and Daddy up to?
(KAREN LAUGHING )
(LAUGHS )
There's something you're not teIIing me.
You're right, Karen, there is. And I'm not.
How's Simon EIder?
-You heard about that? -Yes, I have,
and it's onIy a matter of time before your father hears about it as weII.
Not from me. I won't teII him.
I wouIdn't want to see his face.
Nick, aII Simon and I do is taIk, okay?
We taIk about different ways to make the worId a better pIace.
You couId join us sometime on one of our taIks.
-Might be fun. -Thank you, no.
Your Ioss. Promise me something?
-What? -Don't teII Daddy.
I promise I won't.
Okay.
You gonna Nutcracker with the fam tonight?
Yeah, I am. I'm gonna bring Kiki. You?
No. No, I'm kind of over it.
But you kids have fun.
Bye.
It's aII right. It's okay.
I'm here, baby. Everything's gonna be just fine.
It's not, though.
When I got home Iast night,
I couId teII IittIe things had been moved.
Those drawers were open.
That Iight was on. I know I turned it off.
What are you Iooking for?
PATRICK: Bugs.
CARMELITA: Bugs?
SurveiIIance devices.
Detective DarIing?
WeII, I want you to be safe, right?
You do beIieve me, don't you, Paddy?
I beIieve you. Of course I do.
In fact, I'm gonna put somebody right outside that door, 2 4l7.
The poIice?
UnfortunateIy, I can't invoIve the poIice for this
because I'm the Attorney GeneraI
and you're not my wife.
But don't worry, I'm not gonna Iet anything happen to you.
Trust me?
Just because you're having some doubts about God,
you think that means you have to vacate your post?
I mean, there are Iots of beneficiaI vaIues
transmitted by reIigion.
I guess I just thought that it wouId be
a good time to become authentic.
Did you ever beIieve?
ReaIIy?
I don't know.
The idea of it aIways interested me.
The idea?
The idea that there's something
that gives its Iife up
to make room for more Iife.
That
I find fascinating.
No, don't... No, seriousIy.
I've aIways envied you,
your
Iife of the mind.
Yeah, I mean, me,
I've been stuck,
fumbIing with the nuts and boIts of big business.
I mean, I've seen myseIf referred to as an empire buiIder.
That's not me.
That was my grandfather.
Me? I'm an empire maintainer.
(TRIPP LAUGHS )
Do you reaIIy want to Ieave behind
the worId of ideas?
What couId be better?
I don't know.
I reaIIy don't know what to do.
I can't teII you what to do.
That's for you to decide.
-Sorry. Not gonna happen. -He's not coming?
Robert said he's reaIIy interested in heIping you out,
but he started a painting this morning,
he's on a roII and he doesn't want to stop working on it,
so he's reaIIy sorry.
-Is that reaIIy what he said? -No.
He said he feeIs Iike a whore.
So what am I gonna do?
If Sofia finds out I'm not an artist,
she'II just think I'm poor for no good reason and then...
Wait, a minute. Look at you.
What?
You're not so different from her.
Your height, your hips, your cIothes.
What's your point, Jeremy?
Let me just draw you.
It can be practice. If it turns out any good, I couId use it for Sofia.
-It's kind of a great idea. -It's kind of not.
You can't draw and I can't just sit here
and have you Iook at me.
I wouIdn't want you sitting.
I want you standing, right where you are.
(LAUGHS ) I'm very uncomfortabIe with this.
I have just the thing that couId make you feeI much Iess uncomfortabIe.
How about a IittIe smokie?
No. This is my workpIace.
Which is cIosed. And we need to chiIIax.
Me to draw, you to pose.
You're bad and this is bad idea.
I know.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Oh.
-Hey. -Hi.
This is who you wanted me to meet?
Karen DarIing, I'd Iike you to meet Princess Ama, from Ghana.
-PIeasure. -HeIIo.
Okay.
She's my ex-wife.
Oh.
We met in the middIe of the ocean.
KAREN: How'd you guys wrangIe that?
My father and I took a trip to Jeffrey's Bay in South Africa
to scatter my mother's ashes.
But after we had scattered her ashes,
I couId not sIeep.
I waIked out,
past the hoteI pooI, onto the beach
and into the ocean.
I swam and swam, weeping.
I missed her so much.
The moon
was so big it Iit the sky.
And just when I reaIized I had gone so far,
I probabIy couId not get back...
(IMITATES BANGING SOUND)
(LAUGHS ) What happened?
I hit my head on the side of a IittIe boat,
and he was in it.
He heIped me into the boat
and we have been together ever since.
KAREN: You...
You guys aren't stiII married, right?
SIMON: No, no, no.
AMA: No. SIMON: We're divorced.
Yes, marriage for us was a way of keeping our distance.
Not good.
No.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
What?
What'd she say?
She approves.
Oh!
Lucky me.
Just doing my job, ma'am.
I know Patrick and Mr. Darling are on the outs,
but when he caIIed and asked me to Iook in on you,
weII, what can I say?
You're famiIy, as much as I am, anyway.
Thanks for heating that up for me.
I'm just sorry I don't have anything here to feed you.
I haven't been abIe to get out.
I couId make you some cookies.
Oh, that's sweet, ma'am,
but sugar and stakeouts, that's where those cops go wrong.
Steamed rice and hardboiIed eggs, it's good for the brain.
Keeps me sharp. I can actuaIIy see in the dark.
So, you've done this kind of thing before?
'Cause this is the first time I've ever...
WeII, I've never pIayed
the damseI in distress.
Been with the famiIy for 1 7 years, ma'am.
I've seen pIenty and we've gotten through aII of it,
so don't worry.
AIso, I put a pIant in the pIant.
A pIant in the pIant?
A camera.
There's a live feed right into my car.
I'm just a few yards away, so reIax.
Thank you, CIark.
You sIeep tight, ma'am.
(LISA LAUGHIN G)
You know, it's funny, if you toId me six months ago
that I, Jeremy DarIing,
wouId be working in a parking garage
and wouId be pretending to be a painter,
I wouId not beIieve you.
Life is fuII of surprises, isn't it?
-It is. -Mmm-hmm.
I'm a sucky artist.
I am.
Look.
But I'm getting better.
I'm quite surprised.
(EX CLAIMING )
-That's my point! -Yeah.
That is my point. You know what?
You shouId try being yourseIf with Sofia.
You need to be honest and Ietting things unfoId naturaIIy, organicaIIy.
-You think so? -I do.
Lying wiII sIowIy kiII your insides, Jeremy.
Once she sees who you are,
who you are,
she'II be abIe to Iove you for what you are.
TeII her the truth.
It may surprise you.
It might just disappoint everybody supremeIy.
(LISA SNIFFLING )
What's the matter? What just happened?
I'm Iosing my husband.
What, to Karen?
-Give me a break. -To aII of you.
-You're stoned. -No. No.
Ever since he took this job, he's just been sIipping away.
He's never around, you know?
He comes home Iate,
he Ieaves earIy, he's aIways so busy.
And Kiki and I are just
there, you know? We...
We feeI Iike we have to compete. We're...
We're there.
We're there. We're...
We're there missing him
and Ioving him, and he's off doing God knows what
for aII of you,
and he doesn't have to.
(SIGHS )
We had a good Iife before he took this job.
He doesn't need to do this. He doesn't.
I don't get it. I don't. And I'm sorry because I'm stoned.
I'm being stupid. I'm rambIing. I'm sorry.
I don't get it either.
If you were mine,
I'd be a couch potato.
Jeremy?
Hmm?
You're sitting on my Iap.
I know.
It feeIs nice.
Jeremy.
Don't do that again, okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
(DOOR OPENING )
Damn it.
God.
(METAL CLATTERING )
CIark?
Is that you?
(ALL CHATTERING )
GIANT MOUSE: AII right, who wants a candy cane?
Hey, Dad, where's Mom?
She couIdn't make it. She got hung up at the gaIIery.
Too bad for her.
This is, Iike, a once-in-a-Iifetime experience here.
Not reaIIy. They do it every year.
Wow. ReaIIy?
Yup.
I have to marry into this famiIy.
WeII, Kiki, I'm not sure that's the right attitude to be cuItivating.
You don't hate baIIets, do you?
This isn't gonna drive you away?
No. No, this is interesting.
We definiteIy don't have anything Iike this where I come from.
Good. I can't wait to see you see it.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Nothing.
Sit down.
-Karen, you okay? -I'm fine.
Something happen between you and Simon?
I don't want to taIk about it.
-Karen, you can teII me. -Nothing happened.
AII right.
That has to be the prettiest dress on earth.
Thank you.
Good evening, everybody.
ShaII we start the show?
(CHILDREN CHEERING )
Mrs. GIass, you're here to see your big bIue sponge?
-I am. -It's reaIIy big.
May I touch it?
Of course. It's yours. AImost.
Oh, my God. It reeks.
Oh, no, no. That's the Thai food we had Iast night.
-We? -Me. A wee bit of Thai food. Sorry.
It's marijuana.
I wouId know that smeII anywhere.
I had a stoner husband for four years
and this is what everything smeIIed Iike, aII the time.
This and patchouIi.
Oh, God.
It is. It's pot, isn't it?
I'm sure if someone did smoke pot near the sponge,
the smeII wouIdn't be absorbed permanentIy, ma'am.
It's a sponge.
Absorbing is what they do.
LOUIS: AIex, pIease!
Mrs. GIass, I'm sure there's something we can do.
No, no, no. I don't want that thing! It smeIIs and it reminds me of Hugh.
LOUIS: WeII...
WeII, you just kiIIed a $ 1 50,000 saIe.
I'm sorry.
No, you're not. You're fired.
ELLEN; You sleep okay?
In and out.
Had an espresso at 1 0:00 Iast night,
made my brain a IittIe jumpy.
SiIIy thing to do.
Are you okay?
Are you settIing in to us?
Sure I am. Yeah.
I am gratefuI for aII of this.
AII of you, that you're stiII wiIIing to give me.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING )
It's CIarkie.
He's caIIing.
Hey, CIarkie, what's cooking?
Sir, you need to come over here.
What's the matter?
It's Carmelita, sir.
I don't know how it happened, but she's gone.
(SIGHS )
Okay, weII,
thanks for caIIing, CIark. I'II get right on it.
Right.
It's fingernaiI poIish, sir.
It seems he, or she,
came in through the bathroom window,
went straight into the bedroom
and waited there to seize CarmeIita.
They managed to eIude the ficus.
CIarkie,
how couId this happen?
I'm sorry, sir. I am.
Me, too.
She's gone.
WeII, Iook at you.
What a beautifuI suit.
Yeah, it was in my cIoset.
How's it feeI?
-You know, Iike a uniform. -WeII, I'II give you some suspenders.
It'II take the edge off.
So...
Speak.
WeII, Iast night I did some thinking.
And?
I wasn't abIe to come to any concIusion.
Every time I imagined Ieaving the church,
I got so anxious I reaIized I had to go back.
Every time I imagined staying,
I feIt so trapped I reaIized I had to Ieave.
WeII, that sounds Iike a hard way to spend an evening.
It's a hard way to spend a Iife.
Yeah, but that's over now, right?
Yeah.
And after I thought about it for a Iong time,
I stopped thinking,
and I prayed.
And did you get your answer?
Yeah, I did.
From God?
I think so.
What did
HelShe have to say?
I'd Iike to come work for you.
I think it's best for me,
and for DarIing Enterprises.
This is God taIking, right?
Not your mother.
She doesn't even know I'm here.
WeII...
Far be it from me to ignore
the stiII smaII voice of the Lord.
WeIcome to the company, son.
Thank you.
SIMON: Nick.
Did we have a meeting?
I just need a minute.
It's okay.
What's going on? You seem Iike something's...
I don't know what happened between you and Karen Iast night
and I don't wanna know,
but I am teIIing you to stay away from her.
Why? Now, I knew she was upset about...
I said I don't wanna know.
There is a city fuII of women,
a worId fuII of women out there for you, Simon.
Why her? You can have any woman you want.
Now, if you care about our business reIationship at aII,
if you've been sincere with me about your intentions,
your vision for the city,
and if you're not just in this to destroy the DarIings, Iet her go.
-Did Tripp send you to say this? -No.
This is between you and me.
You are a married man...
Simon, that is not what this is about.
Let her go.
AII right, I'II Iet her go.
Thank you.
Five years.
FinanciaI statements.
-This is incredibIe. -No, it's not.
It's business.
WeII, it kind of Iooks Iike me.
-Maybe if I squint? -Okay. AII right.
Sofia, I need to teII you something right now, because...
I don't want my insides to die
any more than they aIready have.
What? You're sick?
(STAMMERING ) No. No, no, no. I'm sick of Iying.
Sofia, I'm not a painter.
I didn't paint any of these.
I mean, I did do this sketch,
which is why it reaIIy sucks, but...
What are you taIking about?
I Iied to you about everything.
I bought aII these paintings
and I pretended that they were mine
so that you'd think I was a poor artist
and not some rich Iazy ass,
which is actuaIIy what I am.
Because, Sofia, my Iast name isn't Babeson.
It's DarIing.
My famiIy is worth $35 biIIion.
Am I supposed to beIieve this?
I know! It's crazy!
But, you see, I wanted to make sure
that you Iiked me before you knew the truth.
I have suffered too much at the hands of these Iove pirates.
Sofia, now that you know who I am,
you can Iove me for what I am, right?
I trusted you.
Yeah, I know. I know. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
You think because you teII me the truth, it's gonna be okay?
That's not the way to treat peopIe.
I don't care who you are, how much money you have.
Bye, Jeremy Babeson,
or whatever.
I have something to teII you.
Last night, I was sitting with you and your famiIy
and I reaIized something.
I want to stay here.
You are staying here.
No. I mean, indefiniteIy.
What about your uncIe?
Oh, I e-maiIed him Iast night. It's okay.
He's cooI. He has, Iike, nine other nephews.
Oh, this is the best day ever!
Okay, weII, we have to go shopping before we do anything eIse.
-For what? -Warm cIothes.
It's coId outside and you're not totaIIy accIimated yet.
-JuIiet. -What?
I didn't come here from the SeycheIIes
for you to take care of me
Iike some kind of poodIe, okay?
-I know. -I came because...
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
I came for you. Okay?
-Kai? -Yes?
Can I give you one gift?
No, I just said no gifts.
I want...
I want you to be my first.
Your first?
You know.
My first.
Tonight?
Whenever.
But I want it to be you.
JuIiet.
You're amazing.
I'II take one of those.
Hey.
-You okay? -Yeah, I'm aII right.
I got fired today.
-What? -Yeah.
Cheers.
WeII, you want to teII me what happened?
It was stupid.
When Jeremy came to the gaIIery yesterday,
he smoked pot and the smoke permeated
this giant bIue German sponge.
And a Iady was gonna buy it and she freaked out and changed her mind.
Oops.
Okay.
And did you do it, too? Get high?
Yeah.
I did.
I see.
Maybe I wanted something bad to happen,
to just shake things up.
WeII, inviting the DarIings into any situation
definiteIy increases the chances of things getting shaken up.
Now you know how I feeI.
Do I?
Yeah.
Yeah, you do.
I'm sorry I'm unempIoyed.
It's okay. We got pIenty of money.
You wanna have another kid?
(LAUGHS )
-ReaIIy? -Yeah.
(LAUGHS )
I Iove you.
I Iove you, too.
-You aII right? -Yeah.
-I'm fine. -Okay.
-Hi, Daddy. -Hi, darIing.
You wanted to taIk to me?
Yeah.
We're not in over our heads with this thing, are we?
What thing?
You and Simon EIder.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm fine. What... You don't...
Don't worry about that.
You promise me you're not getting emotionaIIy invoIved?
I'm not.
I promise.
Because we agreed that was absoIuteIy not part of the pIan.
I know.